Kenny Hotz will one day burn in hell… and that’s a good thing for everyone involved.

Our interviewee:

Derek Harvie is a Television Producer and Comedy Writer who is currently working on a new FX series called “Testes”. His previous work as a producer includes Playboy TV’s “Jenna’s American Sex Star” and “Night Calls”.

10 Questions for Derek Harvie:

1. Let’s start with #1, what have you been working on lately Derek?

I’m working in Toronto, Canada with Kenny Hotz (Kenny vs. Spenny). We share an office. A few minutes ago I said “Gross… Somebody is eating a boiled egg.” (I hate the smell of eggs.) Kenny started to laugh. I figured it wasn’t an egg I smelled… he’d just quietly farted. That’s why I can’t stand eggs. The smell of something you eat shouldn’t be easily confused with a fart.

We’re writing and producing 13 episodes of a sitcom for FX Networks in the US and Showcase in Canada. It’s called “Testees” and premieres Thursday Oct 9th (US) and Tuesday, Oct 14th (Canada).

2. Michel Phelps, the world’s fastest man in the pool stunk up the joint hosting Saturday Night Live this past weekend. Having worked at SNL before, do you believe their executives enjoy watching a host bomb knowing they’ll get some good press out of it?

I guess so… I’ve never really laughed at any of the opening monologues. Maybe they’re all supposed to bomb?

3. What is the most important lesson working in Showbiz has taught you?

Don’t surround yourself with a bunch of Hollywood douches.

4. The price of oil has fallen to a six-month low but gas stations are charging all-time high prices to tank up your car. Are you going to allow this to happen? Or do you have a secret plan to get back at gas retailers?

A friend of mine back in college had a pretty good strategy to keep gas prices down: Drive to a gas station, drop your buddy at the corner. He goes into the station and shops for chips and drinks while you fill up. Then you drive away without paying. If the attendant notices and writes down your plate, your buddy jumps in and says “No… that’s my friend… He was in a hurry… I’m paying for him. If the attendant doesn’t notice the drive off, free gas.” I’d never endorse doing anything like this though, so to answer your question… Keep your tires inflated, drive the speed limit, change your oil every 3000 miles and you should improve your mileage. That’ll show those fuckers!

5. You’re a betting man. If 72 year old John McCain wins the upcoming presidential election, what are the odds he kicks the bucket while in the White House?

72 is not that old. It’s more likely that you and I will die in a nuclear holocaust while he’s in office. Our children will grow up in the sewers eating radioactive cans of Zoodles and bashing each other’s heads in over broken clock radios and other remnants of our lost civilization.

6. Over the weekend I saw the Coen Brother’s film “Burn after Reading” about a former CIA agent who writes his memoirs. What would be your secret agenda if you were a CIA agent?

God I wish I had time to go watch movies… I saw my first one in six months last week with my friend Rob. It was a huge treat to sit down in a theater for two hours. It was the DeNiro/Pacino movie. It sucked and I was so furious that we walked out… Then we pulled the fire alarm, ruining everyone else’s movie as well. It’s a great new style you can use whenever you’re pissed about something: Bartender took too long to get your drink? Pull the fire alarm. Waitress forgot to bring the extra sauce you ordered on the side? Fire Alarm. I guess that kind of answers the question.

7. Eleven people were killed in a stadium riot in eastern Democratic Republic of Congo this past weekend after a soccer player tried to use witchcraft to win a local match. Have you ever considered dabbling in the art of witchcraft?

No but I dabbled in popsicle stick art when I was ten.

8. Do you think Pole Dancing will become an Olympic sport someday?

These are strange questions Glenn. See answer #5. If McCain is elected then yes. End of civilization, etc.

9. Metallica just released a new album called “Death Magnetic”. If you were putting together a new metal band what would you name it and what would your first album be called?

Band: bin Laden & The Islamo-Facists
Album: Free Strippers

10. Sumo fighters Hakurozan and his brother Roho were slapped with lifetime bans from Japan’s ancient national sport for allegedly using marijuana. Does the thought of watching a Sumo dude smoking a bowl seem ridiculous to you?

I’ve been to Japan. Ridiculous to me is driving through the snowy mountains of Honshu, stopping at a two thousand year old temple and trying to decide if you want Pizza Hut or Kentucky Fried Chicken for lunch.

Our interviewee:

Kenny Hotz is the star and creator of the Comedy Central / Showcase TV show “Kenny vs. Spenny” . He is also the creator and producer of the upcoming TV show “Testes” to air on the FX network beginning October 9th.

10 Questions for Kenny Hotz:

1. Hello Mr. Kenny, our big first question is all about you. What have you been up to lately?

5″11. Ha-ha. Actually I’m fucken exhausted I just finished Kenny vs. Spenny 5 and started a new series with Derek Harvie for FX. Working our asses off but love it!!!!

2. Actress Eva Mendes recently claimed to have had sex in all 50 U.S. states. She claimed the worst being in Alaska. Why do you think Alaska was the worst? Have you ever had sex in Alaska yourself?

No, I have not had sex there but I did stick my dick in a Nanaimo bar once. Alaska was probably the worst ‘cuz KY hardens at the freezing point. Maybe she didn’t like it because being such a mega whore the cold weather brought out her rectal herpes? Who knows?

3. If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?

Hitler. I’d love to make him my butler. I hear he made an amazing crepe Suzette.

4. Who in Hollywood do you most despise the most, and why?

That’s a tough one. I love everyone who gave me a shot, even though some of them eventually douched me, because they didn’t believe I could succeed. Still love them though. I despise the ones who tried to stop me from making it I guess. It’s Hollywould or Hollywon’t I’ve learnt to deal with it and move forward as best I can.

5. Tell us a showbiz secret you’ve been meaning to tell the world.

I recently found out that I have ovarian cancer.

6. Years back I worked in Los Angeles pitching TV show ideas to producers and network executives. One thing I noticed was the amount of Jewish dudes who had the power positions in town. I considered converting to Judaism but decided against it. Does being Jewish give you an unfair advantage in Hollywood?

Yes, it took me 2 years to register for my JCN (Jewish conspiracy number). When I got it…I sold “Kenny vs. Spenny”!

7. The 70’s disco group the Village People recently got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Have you ever worked out at a YMCA? Or at least worked out to their hit song YMCA?

Wow they got a star? I’m wondering if you can get HIV from walking on it?

8. Courtney Love recently spent 323K on her daughter’s 16th birthday. The theme of the party was “RIP childhood” that included games like “who can look the most dead”. Frances was also the daughter of Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain. Courtney Love, complete idiot or secret genius?

You left out the words “retard, dolt, skank, loser, bitch and pancake tits”!

9. The Slovakian women’s hockey team recently beat their Bulgarian counterparts 82-0 in a blow out match. Slovakian or Bulgarian women, who are hotter?

I’ve been to Bulgaria, didn’t get a chance to check out any of the ladies, I was too busy getting gang raped by Gypsies! There are some mega hot Slovakian chicks though, I think I’ll go online and buy a couple!

10. It was announced today the Best Buy electronics retail chain was to purchase Napster for 128 million dollars, a sum 95% over Napster’s current stock price. Do you have anything that you could overvalue and sell to Best Buy?

Deodorant, for their employees.