Not all toys are made the same.

Although he’s friendly your children may still require years of therapy after playing with him.

Thanks to Bambi Blue who found this one I won’t be able to sleep for the next week after watching this disturbing video.

The Mission is simple…. DESTROY!

As a child I was denied the more powerful than god Kiss Doll… Now I’m thankful Gene Simmons has $5 fewer bucks in his pocket from this obvious cash grab.

Silence of the Lambs has gone plastic, and very weird.

….and boy she looks great.

In honour of the world’s famous doll, here’s a brief timeline:

1955 – a German doll named Bild Lilly is manufactured to cash in on a popular, adult oriented comic strip.

1959 – Ruth Handler appropriates the idea for North America, and for children, through her Mattel toy company, naming the doll after daughter Barbara. Barbie is designed and developed by Jack Ryan, though he is rarely given credit.

1961 – Ken, Barbie’s boyfriend is introduced.

1963 – Midge, Barbie’s best friend is introduced.

1964 – Little sister Skipper follows.

1965 – Barbie gets bendable legs, and is released in a number of career moves, including Miss Astronaut.

1966 – Sister Tutti and brother Todd are introduced to the growing family.

1968 – Barbie speaks: “Let’s have a costume party”, and “I love being a fashion model” among other insightful details.

1969 – Ken gets muscles, the ability to speak (speak back?), but still no genetalia.

1970 – Malibu Barbie is released.

1973 – Ken gets a removable beard, sideburns and two moustaches.

1980 – Black Barbie and Hispanic Barbie are introduced.

1981 – Westward Ho Barbie is introduced.

1991 – Gay Parisien Barbie is unveiled.

1992 – Marine Corps Barbie is launched to cash in on the Gulf War.

1997 – Harley Davidson Barbie is unleashed for the hep set, and Oreo Fun Barbie for the politically incorrect set (soon recalled and now a hot ebay commodity).

2001 – Finally: Cher Barbie.

2004 – Barbie and Ken split (the lack of genitals may have played a part)

2009 – Barbie turns fifty.

Barbie Trivia Facts:

- 2 Barbies are sold every second.

- Barbie is called Jenny in Japan.

- There is a Muslim version (though not affiliated) called Fulla (with optional Burka).

- Ruth Handler was convicted of cooking Mattels’ books, but served no time.

- Barbie’s designer Jack Ryan had five trophy wives in the doll’s image (including Zsa Zsa Gabor), many of whom were surgically altered to fit the likeness. Ryan blew his head off after watching Handler take full credit for Barbie’s design on television.

Barbie Themes That never Took Off:

Bookworm Barbie
Messy Barbie
Jealous Barbie
Nosy Barbie
Annoying Barbie
Blathering Barbie
Klepto Brabie
Easy Barbie
Fast Barbie
Slow Barbie
Crazy Barbie
Schizo Barbie
Vengeful Barbie
Vigilante Barbie
Shopaholic Barbie
Foot Fetish Barbie
Gold Digger Barbie
Saucy Secretary Barbie
Schoolyard Bully Barbie
Hillbilly Barbie
Hillary Barbie
Groupie Barbie
Bong Barbie
Qualude Barbie
Crack Barbie
Heroin Barbie
Alcoholic Barbie
Chubby Barbie
Bullemic Barbie
Flatulent Barbie
Belching Barbie
Gambling Barbie
Insatiable Barbie
Nagging Barbie
Necro Barbie
Nympho Barbie
Porn Star Barbie
Fluffer Barbie
Lasbo Barbie
Streetwalkin Barbie
Ass Tattoo Barbie
Nipple Ring Barbie
Full Frontal Barbie
Bar Hopping Barbie
Jovial Drunk Barbie
One Night Stand Barbie
Jailbait Barbie
Jailbird Barbie
Serial Killer Barbie
Felon Barbie
Hustler Barbie
Scam Artist Barbie
Sex Change Barbie
Over The Hill Barbie
Skid Row Barbie
Three Way Barbie
Spamming Barbie
Al-Qaeda Barbie
It’s That Time of the Month Barbie

Who can forget the old classic toy, the Speak and Spell. It’s now available on your PC, give it a spin to revive to good old times.